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The Challenge: Write about a meek, mild-mannered man going on an odyssey... He has little confidence, and is afraid of cotton.

A/N:  This was supposed to be a drabble, but it ran away from me.  Whoops.  I could have done essentially the same story without it being fic, but once the idea stuck in my head, there was no help for it…It had to be Spike telling a story about William.  The setting is rather amorphous; can be either BtVS Season 6, or Post-NFA set in the FAA-verse.  Take it as you choose.

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"Tell me a story."

Spike looked down from his book to Buffy's head pillowed on his thigh, her fingers tapping against his knee.  "A story?  How about I read to you?"

"Nooo," Buffy whined, rolling onto her back so she could meet his eyes.  "I want you to make it up."

Spike blinked at her, waiting for something resembling an explanation that made logical sense, but all he got was a pout.  So, he gave in, like the whipped puppy she sometimes accused him of being.  "Right…Once upon a time, there was a handsome young Englishman named William…"

"Is this a true story?"  Buffy rolled back to her side, facing away from him again.  "I don't want to hear a true story.  I want you to make something up, just for me."

He smiled and stroked her hair.  "I can promise you, this never happened."

"'Kay."  Buffy smiled, and curled closer to him.

"Now, where was I.  Young William was a shy man, who had never been very far from home, until one day his family fell on hard times.  William's father sent him off into the world to seek his fortune, and being an obedient son, he went; even though he was terrified.

"William decided to travel to America to seek his fortune, because it was said to be the land of opportunity.  He took a long boat ride from London to Charleston, and then a long carriage ride from Charleston to New Orleans."

"New Orleans?"  Buffy rolled back to look at him again.  "Why would he go to New Orleans?"

"Because I'm telling this story, you cheeky bint.  Now let me talk, or I'll just go back to my book and you'll never find out how it ends."

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes at him, so he knew how annoyed she was, but she returned to her previous position and let him continue the story.

"When William reached New Orleans, he was astounded and intimidated by the bustling city.  He'd come from London, which was a port city itself, but New Orleans was a riot of colors and sounds and all sorts of different people; it put his memories of home to shame.  And it was hot…William was forced to dip into his meager funds to purchase lighter clothing.

"William spent several days touring the city, talking to the innkeeper, the owners of neighboring shops, shipping company managers, planters, traders, and all sorts of other business people.  He needed to find a way to make money quickly, before his funds were so depleted by living costs that he had nothing to invest."

"Why did he spend all that money traveling to America, if he only had a small amount of money to build his fortune on?"  Buffy asked.

"Because in England there was no way to earn enough money quickly.  He needed to be able to take a large sum home to his parents.  Just getting an office job wasn't going to cut it."

"Okay, why New Orleans, then?  Why not stay in Charleston?  Or go to New York, or go west to some other place?  What year is it, anyway?  I mean, you said he took a boat and a carriage, so this must have been a long time ago…"

Spike sighed.  "Are you ever going to give me a chance to answer your questions, or are you going to entertain yourself by blathering on.  Because I can just go back to reading my book."

Buffy's jaw slammed shut.

"Right, then.  For the last time, I'm telling this story the way I want to tell it.  If you don't like it, I can stop."  Buffy remained silent.  "Okay.  So, William decided to buy into a shipping company.  He could buy goods cheap, sell them overseas at a profit, and have built-in transport back to England.  Plus, with business partners who knew the American market, there was less chance of him being cheated out of what little money he had left.  So, William met with all of the gentlemen in the area who owned small shipping companies, and finally decided on one owned by an older gentleman by the name of Tunsley.  Mr. Tunsley had three grown children, two sons and a daughter.  The sons worked for him; James as a warehouse manager, David captaining a ship.  They needed funds for more boats to increase their profits, and a man they could trust to keep the books.  William felt he could trust them because it was a family operation.

"So, William became part-owner of Tunsley Shipping.  He learned bookkeeping from old Mr. Tunsley, and went with David to inspect some new ships.  It was several months before there was a harvest, but when crops started coming into the warehouses he toured them with James.  They examined sacks of grain, barrels of salted fish and liquor, crates filled with metalwork tools and fabrics…But when they reached the bales of raw cotton, William was gripped with dread."

"For some reason, the sight of all that fluffy stuff terrified him.  William's hands went all clammy, he grew pale and shaky…"

"Hold on!"  Buffy sat up and turned to look at him.  "William's afraid of cotton?  How can you be afraid of cotton, for pete's sake!  It's soft, and fluffy, and it doesn't even move on its own."

"He just is, alright.  Now do you want me to finish the story or not?"

Buffy huffed and slid off the bed.  "Not, actually.  You know, I asked you to do one little thing, as a favor to me, to make me happy.  If you can't take that seriously, then I'll just go find someone else to spend time with!"  And with that, she stormed off, muttering.  "Afraid of cotton.  What a lame-o fear.  Stupid, boring story…"

Spike thought about going after her, really he did…Except, the book was just starting to get good.  If Buffy didn't want to hear about William defeating the cotton demon and living happily ever after with Betty Tunsley, that wasn't his problem.